Laptop

Right now...i want to write so bad. But every word that i type down lack meaning. Its like what ever word or sentence im going to write, it all just comes out wrong.
I dont really know what i want with my writing today. Yesterday i wanted to try to be all carrie-ish and all...and today im just blank.
This morning i felt like i wanted to write, so bad. But since i dont have my own laptop and im sick, its kinda hard. Ive spend the last three days in my livingroom, just watching TV and sleeping. Not having the energy to move, unless it was because i was thirsty and needed water. So i guess you all realize that i cant spend my days upstairs by the computer, the risk of falling asleep and falling off the chair is to big. So my great conclusion of the day is that i should get a laptop, cause i can afford it and i need one.

For some odd reason i get all jealous as soon as i read something someone else wrote. I have no idea why, i guess its just some kind of performance anxiety. Its just wierd thats all. I think im at this stage, where i think that everything ive ever wrote sucks. And soon ill probably give up. But it feels like i need to write today for some reason. I dont know why.

And now i gave up...